Three ways to communicate Successfully

YOU CAN PROBABLY THINK OF A TIME when you tried to talk about something important with someone where the conversation bombed and you’d give anything to be able to do it all over again. If only you had used better words, a different tone of voice, or waited for the right time.

I know because this happened to me not long ago. As I looked back, I realized that there were certain things I cloud have done differently to make it a better conversation. However, that’s easier to say in hindsight than do in the heat of the moment.

In talking with my clients, improving communication is always at the top of the list. Yet it seems to me that what they’re really referring to is resolving conflict rather than improving communication. They can communication just fine when there’s no conflict. It’s when there’s conflict that things get sticky.

Mastering the art of communication is a process and it takes lots of practice.

HERE ARE THREE WAYS TO COMMUNICATE SUCCESSFULLY USING AN INSIDE-OUT APPROACH:

1.Own What’s yours

Remember that each of you has a part and a side in the situation. Practice the principle of responsibility by taking ownership for your part and letting the other person take ownership for their part. You DO NOT need to own and take on what’s theirs. Only speak what you know to be true for you rather than saying what the other person wants to hear. Otherwise, you’ll be angry because you’ve overridden yourself by taking on more than what you are responsible for.

2.Come From a Natural Place

Always use “I” instead of you statements. You can take a time-out if things get heated and go off by yourself to think. If you’re emotionally charged, it’s usually something from your past that you’re reacting to rather than the person in the moment. It’s important to feel the anger so you can return to a neutral frame of mind. Then come back to the conversation where you can respond from a neutral place rather than reacting emotionally.

3.Keep an Open Heart

Never close your heart to the other person because you’ll be the one who suffers. Resist the urge to cut away. Be patient and compassionate with yourself and the other person. Accept your different perspectives and work towards the middle ground for harmony and good relations by keeping your heart open.

Success… from the inside out involves being able to communicate successfully and responsibly. You can begin experimenting this week by choosing something you’ve wanted to say to someone and communicate it by coming from the three points of reference above. Practice makes perfect, and there’s no time like the present to get started. Task the risk and begin to communicate successfully today.